Editing & Proofreading ·
Structural edit — Pharmacy and Patent Medicines
A 7,763-word non-fiction chapter cut to a 6,500-word brief: repetition removed, sections resequenced, the argument left intact.
A history chapter on pharmacy and patent medicines, delivered over its limit: the instruction on the first line reads "main chapter text currently 7,763; this must be cut to 6,500 words". The manuscript also carried optional text boxes and a sheet of quotations to select from.
The cuts are structural rather than cosmetic. Whole passages go where the point had already been made — a Romeo and Juliet digression, a second account of early apothecary shops — and the margin comments record the reasoning: "this was said in the first paragraph", "deleted because it seemed out of place". What survives is resequenced so the argument still runs in order.
Across the full document, 9,396 words came down to 6,808.
- Portfolio piece
- Cut the chapter from 7,763 words to a 6,500-word limit without losing the argument
- 9,396 → 6,808 words · 108 deletions, 35 insertions, 13 comments
- Every structural cut justified in a margin comment
word deletedword addedword written in aboveword my comment — select it
In the play, Romeo and Juliet, by [William] Shakespeare [(1564-1616)], Romeo on hearing and believing that his beloved Juliet is dead, seeks out a local apothecary in the Italian town of Mantua.
While against the law in Mantua, Romeo persuades the apothecary to sell him a ‘dram of poison’ to end his life: ‘My poverty, but not my will consents’, says the apothecary, to which Romeo replies: ‘I pay thy poverty, and not thy will.’ Romeo ends his life with the words: ‘Here’s to my love! O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.’
Romeo’s apothecary (an historical name for someone who formulates and dispenses medicines) was poor and his shop bare. Other apothecary shops might be stuffed full of a whole eclectic range of potions. Apothecaries often had their own herb or physic garden behind their shops. Larger apothecary stores in early modern Europe also served as repositories for medicines and spices brought from, and retaining links with, the Arab world and the Far East. The pestle and mortar, a symbol of the old apothecary or pharmacy shop, was used to crush, grind and mix the ingredients – herbs, spices, barks, minerals, flowers and vegetables - that went into creating potions, pills, tinctures, elixirs, emulsions, syrups, tablets, capsules and infusions to treat any number of symptoms and diseases. Scales for weighing the ingredients were also vital for the apothecary (or druggist, as they were also known). Jars containing leeches were commonly on display. Alcohol would be used as a solvent to dissolve plants. Apothecaries generally smelt and tasted their plants and potions to determine their virtues and check for purity. A heady mix of fragrant floral smells and pungent spices filled the air.
Some of these old stores can still be visited today. The ‘Spezieria All ’Ercole d’Oro’ in Venice, Italy, dating back to the late 17th century, is a magnificent room that contains its original elegant furnishings and the jars for drugs and medicines. It was frequented by learned patricians, clergymen and scholars, who treated it more like a coffee-shop, a place for erudite conversation. One of its most popular pills was a laxative preparation known as ‘Santa Fosca purgative pills’ or the pillule del piovan. Tradition had it that the remedy was first concocted by a parish priest (piovan) who lived in the area. A curious specialty was Olio di Scorpioni (Scorpion Oil) which was used to treat wounds and was produced by drowning some hundred live scorpions in two litres of olive oil. Specialising in the preparation of more unusual drugs, this apothecary store had its own Sala dei Veleni (‘Poison or Venom Room’) where rare herbs and medicines, often from overseas, were stored.
Venice was one of the major trading and maritime centres of Europe (and home to the 13th century Venetian merchant Marco Polo) and the Venetians imported many items of value to pharmacy from the Islamic world and beyond. In 1494, a Milanese priest on a visit to Venice’s Rialto described the shops as so well furnished that they seemed like warehouses, full of ‘aromatics, spices and drugs’, as well as overflowing with luxurious silks, carpets, cloths and much more from the East.
In medicine, the Venetians became most famous for their Mithridato (mithridatium), the ‘mother of all antidotes’, (named after King Mithridates V1 of Pontus in Asia Minor (c.132/4-63 BC) who was known for his supposed immunity to poisons), a concoction of herbs and castoreum (an oily extract from the sexual glands of the beaver), and, and also for their Teriaca or theriac. Theriac was a universal panacea said to cure any number of ailments and was produced in Venice by the apothecary (spezier da medicine) and used far and wide. Its origins are legendary. Theriac was also possibly first concocted by Mithridates [in the first century BC] and was popular in Roman times, and was ‘perfected’ by Andromachus, physician to the Roman Emperor Nero, in the first century AD. Galen devoted a whole book to theriac. It was produced in many parts of the world, including China and India, and disseminated over the Silk Route. By the Renaissance in Europe, the Venetians had a monopoly on its production and trade and it was known in England as Venice treacle (‘treacle’ is a corruption of theriac). It was one of the most expensive and valued of all medicines.
Apothecaries often had their own herb or physic garden behind their shops. Larger apothecary stores in early modern Europe also served as repositories for medicines and spices brought from, and retaining links with, the Arab world and the Far East. The pestle and mortar, a symbol of the old apothecary or pharmacy shop, was used to crush, grind and mix the ingredients – herbs, spices, barks, minerals, flowers and vegetables - that went into creating potions, pills, tinctures, elixirs, emulsions, syrups, tablets, capsules and infusions to treat any number of symptoms and diseases. Scales for weighing the ingredients were also vital for the apothecary (or druggist, as they were also known). Jars containing leeches were commonly on display. Alcohol would be used as a solvent to dissolve plants. Apothecaries generally smelt and tasted their plants and potions to determine their virtues and check for purity. A heady mix of fragrant floral smells and pungent spices filled the air.
Some of these old stores can still be visited today. The ‘Spezieria All ’Ercole d’Oro’ in Venice, Italy, dating back to the late 17th century, is a magnificent room that contains its original elegant furnishings and the jars for drugs and medicines. It was frequented by learned patricians, clergymen and scholars, who treated it more like a coffee-shop, a place for erudite conversation. One of its most popular pills was a laxative preparation known as ‘Santa Fosca purgative pills’ or the pillule del piovan. Tradition had it that the remedy was first concocted by a parish priest (piovan) who lived in the area. A curious specialty was Olio di Scorpioni (Scorpion Oil) which was used to treat wounds and was produced by drowning some hundred live scorpions in two litres of olive oil. Specialising in the preparation of more unusual drugs, this apothecary store had its own Sala dei Veleni (‘Poison or Venom Room’) where rare herbs and medicines, often from overseas, were stored.
Venice was one of the major trading and maritime centres of Europe (and home to the 13th century Venetian merchant Marco Polo) and the Venetians imported many items of value to pharmacy from the Islamic world and beyond.
In medicine, the Venetians became most famous for their Mithridato (mithridatium) and Teriaca (theriac). Mithridatium, named after King Mithridates V1 who was known for his supposed immunity to poisons, was known as the ‘mother of all antidotes’ and was a concoction of herbs and castoreum (an oily extract from the sexual glands of the beaver). Theriac was also possibly first concocted by Mithridates [in the first century BC] and was a popular ‘cure all’ in Roman times. It was ‘perfected’ by Andromachus, physician to the Roman Emperor Nero, in the first century AD. By the Renaissance in Europe, the Venetians had a monopoly on its production and trade and it was known in England as Venice treacle (‘treacle’ is a corruption of theriac). It was one of the most expensive and valued of all medicines.
This passage carries 11 deletions and 10 insertions in tracked changes: 731 words before the edit, 495 after. Use the Before and Final views to read either state in full.
My margin comments (1)
- Maybe this gets put in with the new heading
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